we made out on top of his cat.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize