I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
