Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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