Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
