Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
