I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize