Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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