we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
