the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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