I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
im holly from the hills drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
please don't ironically join a cult
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