we're chasing vodka with high fives
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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