I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
