You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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