Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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