oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
