it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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