How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
