Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
