3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
