she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
