Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
