he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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