He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
