New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
dude. I can hear the air.
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