btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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