Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
