I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
