Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
worst night to have a conscience
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
