I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
