Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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