I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He did a backflip because drugs
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
