For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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