Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
