so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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