I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
