I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
