i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
