Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
