And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
