I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
