You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
