it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The best revenge is premature balding
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
