i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
