Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
wow bdsm is so cute
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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