And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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