redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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