im holly from the hills drunk
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
