i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
