He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
