HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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