jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
