it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
