I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
