I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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