But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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