I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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