Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
