just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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