We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You dont lie about slip and slides
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
