This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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